Why?

I woke up this morning and cried. And I am still crying.

The mass murder of children is unspeakably evil. There are no words adequate enough in the English language or any language to describe it. It’s the most sick, lowly, barbaric, bombastic, savage and inhumane evil to walk this planet and it makes me viscerally sick. Every 10 minutes I just start to cry.

What do I say to the Vietnamese person who says “Why do Americans murder children?” or “Why do Americans keep killing each other?”. To know that my country, my fellow citizens are going through this and I am here where it’s another regular day makes me shake in rage, hurt and just smashes my heart.

I am a liberal on most issues, and if you don’t like that I apologize, but I need to talk and this is my only link right now to America.

I have always hated the gun culture in the US. We (humans) are the most evolved species on the planet...right? And according to ourselves we (America) are the greatest country on Earth? We have language to talk...right? So why do we need or even have guns?

For those hunters out there I am sorry but I don’t get it. I don’t get why anybody would kill another living creature for fun or sport (especially cute, furry, innocent, woodland creatures)…sorry. I know that some interpret the second amendment as guns for all, but clearly the presence of any gun is too much. Nobody except soldiers or policemen needs guns. We can't we protect our citizens - or even our children from them. Schools should be safe places to LEARN and GROW, not places to duck under desks and lock oneself in closets and have our children pray for their lives. The solution can't be TSA style security at every school. Not only would that impede learning, but also our country literally can’t afford it – unless we spend China’s money on it.

It was one crazy person who embodied evil itself (again). It’s the same story over and over again. What is shameful is that we choose not to learn because the NRA is too powerful and rich and thus we allow, we enable, history to repeat itself and allow domestic terrorism to go on. Why? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. America (and American politicians and lobbies in particular) we’re all insane.

         It's clearly established that our country is not completely free, no country is. As part of a society you give up some rights so that society can function (The Enlightenment, Locke, Rousseau, Montesquieu, Diderot, Voltaire) hence limits on free speech. This has been enshrined in legal precedent. So why don't we extend the utilitarian principle to things that kill? Clearly the current mechanisms are pathetic and since some can't be trusted no citizen should have guns. Plain and Simple! (For those who argue that’s an impediment on liberty I agree but as a society some liberties must be removed to protect the greater good, especially our children).

What is so angering about this is that our congress (i.e. two year olds who didn't graduate kindergarten and can't be adults and do their jobs, which in every other business would result in them being fired – but that’s another rant) won't do a damn thing. So it will keep happening with more and more regularity. Columbine didn't do it. Virginia Tech didn't do it. Aurora, Colorado didn't do it. The Mall shooting not even a week ago didn't do it. Will this finally be the straw to push gun control and make America a gun free country? What will it take?

I can't imagine being a parent and getting that phone call, 10 days before Christmas no less. Will my own kids be safe? Or should I move to Canada or other countries with gun control to ensure that they see adulthood? Or stay in America and everyday have to pray they get off the bus?

I just can't imagine picking your child up from school in a body bag. It's beyond wretched and unfathomable. I am praying for the parents and that community. And I am foolishly hoping that this will finally be enough blood spilled to cause a change. But Congress can't even get their craniums out of their rectums long enough to deal with this Fiscal Cliff and the Republicans took down an innocent, highly qualified and competent scholar and public servant who did nothing wrong, wasn’t even involved in Benghazi, and just reading poorly written talking points given to her all in a political game – and she wasn’t even NOMINATED. It's so upsetting on so many levels that that’s how John McCain and Lindsey Graham chose to spend this urgent time.

I am not usually ashamed to be an American and I stand beside the victims and a community and country that must again face this horrific reality. What does make me ashamed is that we most likely, statistically won’t learn, won’t change, because the political machine is so politicized that greedy, inept, grubby and spineless politicians refuse to do their jobs and they get away with it.

NEWSFALSH democracy = compromise. Compromise is when you get something you want and something somebody else wants for the greater good. Consider this my performance review of politicians in Congress since I started to vote in 2008: you are all failing and highly embarrassing and it’s because of you that I ashamed to be an American. Now’s the time to make this right. Sit down, act like adults, do your jobs and get things done, like the rest of us do everyday. If you don’t fix this (and the fiscal cliff and start moving on Global Warming), if you don’t stop this to protect our children how can you hold your head up? You wanted this job and now’s the time to step up and put up. Enough is enough right now! No more lives should be cut short, no more blood spilled and no more families being ripped apart.

Today is a sad day. Tomorrow will also be sad, but what is sadder is that most likely, statistically nothing will change and the NRA will prevent anything from being put in place to protect our own citizens, our own children. This is terrorism against our own kind, against our own people, our own children. IT MUST STOP – but I know that politicians won’t stand up to stop it and courts won’t support laws that will make America gun free. Until that day comes (if it ever does) we must all live in fear that a mass shooting, by a maniac will happen anywhere at any moment and that no place in America is safe. Not malls, churches, colleges or elementary schools. We are the most powerful nation on Earth and we can’t even agree to ban guns to protect our children or ourselves. How inspiring.

Throughout history we have made the choice to allow the possibility of massacres to occur indiscriminately and we could stop it. Why do we value life so little? It is for the dysfunction that will inevitably occur and put every American at risk again that makes me ashamed. Ashamed of my country, ashamed of my government, ashamed of my citizenship and ashamed of my passport. And we expect to be a world leader? That’s just delusional.

But right now I grieve and I cry. I cry for those who died, those dreams dashed, those futures slashed and those families shattered into oblivion. And I cry for my future children and grandchildren and their friends. I cry because they will most likely have to grow up in fear or pass through security to learn, to live, to play and to be free. I cry for my own safety. Who says I won’t be at the market and a rampage occurs and I die, or my parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors die or their families are plunged into eternal mourning? Or at the hospital, school, library, theater, mall, café, restaurant, or my own yard? WHY DO WE TOLERATE THIS FEAR, THIS UNCERTAINTY? Why do we allow it to go on and why do we continue to give allowances because the NRA has money? NOBODY NEEDS GUNS (except for soldiers or policemen)! The current system doesn’t work and even strengthened it won’t work and it never has. We just had two mass rampages in less then two weeks.

When is enough enough?

When will we be gun free?

When will be gun free so we can truly be free from fear, from random, evil, maniacal rage and a barrage of indiscriminate bullets? A rage that this time took 20 children from our schools not even 2 weeks before Christmas. A rage that ripped them from their family’s arms. When will stop enabling the rage to kill? When America? When?